Family and domestic violence is a widespread and serious problem, affecting an estimated 10 million Americans each year. It impacts people of all ages, religions, cultures, sexual orientations, income levels, and educational backgrounds.
Domestic violence can have a long-lasting impact on a survivor’s physical and mental health.
Recovery from domestic abuse goes beyond leaving the abuser. Survivors often benefit from therapy to process emotional trauma, rebuild their lives, and develop self-compassion.
A note to the reader: If you feel unsafe in your relationship for any reason, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by dialing 800-799-7233 for confidential support.
When people hear about “domestic violence,” they often think of physical assault. However, domestic abuse can happen in many forms, including stalking and emotional, physical, financial, verbal, and sexual abuse.
In the United States, more than 10 million people experience domestic violence in a given year. Domestic abuse can occur between any two partners, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. When the person responsible for the abuse is an intimate partner, it’s referred to as intimate partner violence. Domestic violence can also include child or elder abuse.
Reports state that one in four women and one in nine men in the United States have experienced domestic violence, but the actual number may be higher, since many cases go unreported.
How domestic abuse can affect mental health
Exposure to domestic violence can lead to stress, fear, and isolation. Many people also experience relationship PTSD, where the trauma is prolonged and causes them to repeatedly relive memories of the abusive relationship.
Children who grow up in families where there’s domestic abuse can experience various emotional and behavioral issues. They may have trouble developing social skills, get bad grades, or have trouble focusing and making friends.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 20% of domestic violence survivors develop mental health conditions, including: major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and substance use disorders. In addition, survivors may blame themselves for the abuse and become self-critical and self-destructive.
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Indicators of mental health issues from domestic abuse
The mental health effects of domestic violence can vary from one person to another and may continue even after the abusive relationship has ended. Domestic violence can leave survivors with feelings of shame, embarrassment, isolation, fear, and low self-confidence. And these feelings can continue long after the relationship has ended.
Common mental health effects, including depression and anxiety, can persist for months or even years. Domestic violence survivors often internalize blame for the abuse and feel anger and resentment toward themselves.
Signs that domestic abuse is negatively affecting your mental health include:
Low self-esteem
Fatigue
Migraines
Changes in mood or appetite
Self-injury
Suicidal thoughts
Unhealthy substance use
Types of abuse contributing to poor mental health
Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in any relationship that someone uses to gain power or control over their partner. Domestic violence can take on several forms, including:
Financial abuse is where one partner controls all access to money and credit cards. This prevents the person being abused from leaving the relationship and providing for themselves and any dependents.
Emotional abuse involves frequent criticism, social isolation, extreme jealousy, emotional neglect, or gaslighting.
Sexual abuse isn’t just about sex. Rather, it’s about power. It includes forcing a partner to have sex, hurting a partner during sex, or coercing a partner to have sex without protection.
Digital abuse involves monitoring a person’s actions on social media or using tracking devices on a partner’s phone to monitor their location and messages.
Four recovery options for survivors of domestic abuse
Recovering from domestic violence or abuse involves emotional, mental, and often physical healing. Seeking help from a professional therapist can be very beneficial to survivors. Some other strategies that can help with your recovery process may include:
Seeking safety: If you’re currently involved in a dangerous situation, reach out to local domestic violence shelters and hotlines. These resources can help you find a safe living environment.
Forgiving yourself: Remember that domestic violence is never your fault, and you shouldn’t feel guilt or self-blame. By embracing self-forgiveness, you can move forward on your path to healing.
Understanding domestic abuse: Learning about the mindset of people who engage in domestic abuse can help you better understand your experience, while also reinforcing that the abuse wasn’t your fault. By educating yourself on manipulation and control tactics that people who engage in domestic abuse use, you can recognize the warning signs and red flags and protect yourself in future relationships.
Considering group support: Meeting with other domestic violence survivors can help you feel less isolated and work through feelings of shame and trauma in a safe environment. A recent study found that while individual therapy can be an effective treatment for domestic violence survivors, being in a group setting around others who understand your pain can also be beneficial.
Something I often tell my clients is that rebuilding trust after domestic abuse starts with establishing healthy boundaries and surrounding themselves with supportive relationships. We work on clearly expressing their needs, practicing saying 'no' when they feel uncomfortable, and identifying people who respect their limits. By focusing on these aspects, clients can slowly rebuild a sense of safety and trust in their relationships.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
Choosing the best therapy option for you
There are many different types of therapy that can help domestic violence survivors recover from trauma. Talk therapy, in particular, provides a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences with a therapist. Through ongoing conversations, you can gain insight, receive support, and set goals for recovery and personal growth.
Specific types of therapy for addressing trauma include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps you recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors while also focusing on problem-solving and coping strategies.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): This approach helps survivors process trauma and reduce its emotional impact. This type of therapy uses rapid eye movements, in combination with talk therapy, to decrease the impact of memories of past abuse.
Find care with Rula
Recovering from domestic abuse is a journey, and you don’t have to face it alone. Therapy can be an important step in your recovery. A licensed therapist can guide you in addressing the trauma and how it’s impacting your mental health, while also offering support and healthy coping strategies.
Rula can help you connect with a licensed therapist who accepts your insurance and can help you manage symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, or depression. With our extensive network of providers, you can find a therapist to meet with virtually as soon as tomorrow.
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
