Being an extrovert usually means that you feel energized by social interaction. But anyone, including extroverts, can experience social anxiety.
As an extrovert with social anxiety, you might be outgoing in some settings and anxious in others. This doesn’t automatically mean that you have an anxiety disorder or another mental health condition.
If you’re looking to bring more balance to your social battery, mindfulness, psychoeducation, and being strategic with your schedule can help. For additional support, reach out to a therapist.
Extroversion is a personality trait. Most extroverts derive energy from social interactions and prefer being with others to being alone. But like other personality traits, extroversion exists on a spectrum, and not all extroverts are the same.
An extrovert can thrive in some group settings but feel anxious or uncomfortable in others. It might seem contradictory, but extroversion and social anxiety can coexist [1]. Anyone, no matter their personality type or temperament, can develop social anxiety.
Learning more about social anxiety can help you better understand yourself (and others) and know when to seek support.
Signs of social anxiety in extroverts
Some people confuse social anxiety with introversion [2], but these are different things.
Being an introvert [3] just means that you gain energy from quiet moments and solo activities. You might consider yourself a homebody and may need some time to recharge after socializing. But being an introvert doesn’t mean that you automatically get uncomfortable or anxious in social situations. Introverts can enjoy group gatherings, even if they prefer being alone.
Similarly, shyness can be an indicator of social anxiety, depending on how severe it is. But that doesn’t mean they’re the same thing. A shy person may be hesitant to approach people [4] they don’t know. They might worry about embarrassing themselves or facing rejection. These traits can align with social anxiety, but there’s a functional difference. A shy person may be able to overcome their hesitancy or “warm up” to people once they get to know them. But this might not be the case for someone with social anxiety disorder (SAD). For them, their anxiety might be so severe that it prevents them from engaging socially. Most people with clinical anxiety disorders require professional help.
So, given these nuances, how does social anxiety show up for extroverts? It can vary from person to person, but here are a few examples of how it might look:
You have a solid group of friends who have known each other since high school. Whenever you’re with them, you’re the life of the party. But when you meet new people, you’re less outgoing. It’s almost like you have an “on-and-off social switch,” and it gets flipped in different directions depending on the group and setting.
You’ve been looking forward to your sister’s annual New Year's Eve party. But as the day of the party approaches, you start to feel unsettled. Last year, you had an awkward interaction with one of her work friends, and you’ve been replaying it in your mind since. A few hours before you’re supposed to arrive, your anxiety spikes. You cancel at the last minute because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself again.
The new hire in your office seems like such an interesting person. You’ve heard great things about them, and you’d love to get to know them better. Whenever you pass them in the hallway, they say “Hello,” or, “How’s it going?” and you chit-chat for a few minutes. But you never say anything to them first because you don’t want to seem annoying or pushy.
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The challenges of being outgoing and anxious
Being an outgoing person who has occasional social anxiety can be a confusing experience. You might struggle to make sense of what feels like contradictory tendencies or emotions. It can also take a toll on your mental health and relationships.
Being an extrovert with social anxiety can also make it hard to know how best to take care of yourself. Occasionally, you might crave an energizing evening out with friends. On other days, you may want some solitude to charge your batteries. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with needing either of those things. And it’s OK if your social needs shift from time to time.
Balancing being social with anxiety
If social anxiety is getting in the way of your desire to socialize, you’re not alone. Being an extrovert with social anxiety can feel like a juggling act. Fortunately, you can address your anxiety without completely withdrawing socially.
Explore these tips:
Educate yourself
Many people are unaware that social anxiety and extroversion can coexist. So when it happens to them, they might feel confused or wonder if something is “wrong” with them. Learning more about this phenomenon can help destigmatize it. Understanding that personality traits exist on a spectrum and that anyone can develop social anxiety disorder can help you be more compassionate toward yourself.
Be strategic with your schedule
Take a few minutes to review your schedule for the next few weeks. Take note of any events or interactions that you know might elicit some social anxiety. Try to schedule some alone time or self-care before or after experiences. At the same time, try to be aware of any long stretches of solitude. For example, if you don’t have any social plans in the weeks ahead, schedule something with friends that you will look forward to.
Practice social mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about slowing down to notice what’s happening around you and in your mind and body without judging what comes up. As a practice, it can help you better understand your anxiety triggers as well as what feels rejuvenating. Having this self-knowledge can help you know when you might need some extra support, whether that’s alone time or socializing with people you know and trust.
Talk to a professional
If you’re an extrovert who experiences occasional social anxiety, it doesn’t automatically mean that you have a mental health condition. But if your social anxiety is affecting your daily functioning or relationships, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A therapist or psychiatrist can provide an evaluation so that you can receive an official diagnosis. While they can be challenging to live with, anxiety disorders are treatable and can be managed with the right support.
Many extroverts believe their social anxiety shouldn’t exist because they’ve always been outgoing. That expectation creates shame and confusion. I often remind clients that anxiety isn’t about personality — it’s about how your nervous system responds to certain pressures.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Just like introverts (and other personality types), extroverts can develop social anxiety. However, the combination of these experiences can be confusing. In some social situations, an extrovert might thrive and feel completely at ease. In others, they may feel anxious or uncomfortable. With psychoeducation, mindfulness, strategic scheduling, and professional help (if needed), you can create a balance of socializing and solitude that works for you.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- Social Anxiety Disparity Between Extroverted and Introverted Psychology Students During COVID-19 at University "X" https://www.researchgate.net/publication/384201906_Social_Anxiety_Disparity_Between_Extroverted_and_Introverted_Psychology_Students_During_COVID-19_at_University_X
- SOCIAL ANXIETY DOES NOT EQUAL INTROVERSION https://nationalsocialanxietycenter.com/2015/02/16/social-anxiety-does-not-equal-introversion/
- What Is an Introvert? Common Traits and Misconceptions https://health.clevelandclinic.org/introvert
- Shyness https://www.apa.org/topics/shyness
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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