Key Takeaways
Research suggests that depression is common among parents who experience pregnancy loss. Sometimes this is referred to as perinatal depression.
Perinatal depression can affect both parents. It may involve sadness, fatigue, guilt, shame, sleep problems, and other symptoms.
After pregnancy loss, protecting your privacy, having a memorial, joining a support group, or talking to a mental health professional can help you heal.
The term perinatal depression is typically used to refer to a period of low mood that occurs during pregnancy and may persist after childbirth. It’s believed to stem from hormonal fluctuations, lifestyle changes, and the added stress of becoming a parent. However, parents who experience pregnancy loss [1] or the loss of a newborn are also at risk of depression.
Rates of depression following a miscarriage or stillbirth can vary widely. But research suggests that as many as 9 in 10 birth-giving parents [2] experience it. Sadly, despite how common they are, these losses aren’t widely discussed. Many grieving parents don’t get the support or privacy they deserve during an incredibly difficult time.
If you’re struggling after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn loss, you’re not alone. Learning more about depression and pregnancy loss can help you begin to heal and know when to seek professional help.
Symptoms of perinatal depression after miscarriage
No two people will experience pregnancy loss in the same way. But some of the most common symptoms [3] of perinatal depression include:
Fatigue
Loss of appetite
Sadness and low mood
Sleep problems
Guilt
Shock
Anger
Anxiety
These symptoms tend to be most severe in the first few weeks following a loss [4]. During this time, it can be hard to tell if a person is grieving or experiencing perinatal depression. But if depressive symptoms persist beyond a few months, it’s important to seek a professional evaluation.
Non-birth-giving parents may also experience these symptoms. However, male-identifying partners [5] may be more prone to self-isolation. They may also try to mask their emotional pain in an attempt to be “strong” for their partner. This is due to harmful social stigma and can make it harder for male-identifying people to ask for help. But all parents, regardless of their gender, deserve support.
What causes depression after pregnancy loss?
We don’t yet know all the causes of perinatal depression following a pregnancy loss. It may, in part, result from the hormonal changes that accompany this experience.
Research suggests that it might also be more common among people who:
Are younger
Have limited financial resources
Don’t have adequate social support or coping skills
Lose a pregnancy that was planned
Have a history of infertility
Have experienced previous pregnancy losses
How to cope with depression after miscarriage
If you’re feeling depressed following miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn loss, help is available. Some mental health professionals specialize in perinatal mental health and can help you navigate this challenging time. Depending on your needs, you may benefit from working with a therapist, psychiatrist, or both.
In addition to seeking professional help, you and your family can take other steps to protect your well-being [6], including:
Remind yourself it’s not your fault
After a pregnancy loss, many people blame themselves. You might wonder if there was something you could’ve done differently. But research [6] shows that most of the time, pregnancy loss occurs due to a fetal abnormality. It’s not something you or your partner could prevent or control.
Consider a memorial
If it feels appropriate for you and your family, think about ways to memorialize your loss. This could include things like writing a letter, having a family memorial service, or making a charitable donation in your child’s honor.
Find a support group
For many people, pregnancy loss can be uncomfortable to talk about. But joining a support group for people who’ve experienced it can help you feel less alone. You can ask your provider if they’re aware of any support groups in your area. Alternatively, you can look online for miscarriage or pregnancy loss support groups.
Set boundaries
Well-meaning people in your community might want to ask you about your loss. But remember that you get to decide what you want to share and with whom.
You don’t owe anyone specific details, and it’s OK to set a boundary and say, “I’d rather not discuss that.” You and your partner deserve privacy and sensitivity as you grieve.
Maintain your self-care routine
You might not feel very motivated to engage in self-care after pregnancy loss. But try to get adequate sleep, eat nourishing foods, make time for gentle movement, and do some small activities you enjoy.
This is also a time to lean on your support system. When you’re ready, spending time with people you love and trust can help.
Clinician's take
Pregnancy loss can greatly impact both partners negatively. It may cause sadness, anger, irritability, or anxiety. Also, losing one pregnancy can increase anxiety during future pregnancies, which may happen due to fears of losing another pregnancy.
Find care with Rula
Depression is common in the aftermath of losing a pregnancy. It can affect both birth-giving and non-birth-giving parents alike. During this challenging time, remind yourself that the loss isn’t your fault and that you deserve privacy and sensitivity as you heal.
If you’re having trouble managing your depression on your own, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Mental health professionals who specialize in perinatal mental health can offer support.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
