Green flags are the signs of emotional safety and stability that make a relationship last.
Recognizing green flags can help you choose partners who meet your emotional needs.
Research shows that identifying your partner’s positive traits leads to stronger, more satisfying relationships.
We often talk about “red flags” to look out for in potential partners. But what about green flags in a relationship — the positive signs that a relationship is healthy and safe?
It’s just as important to recognize green flags as red flags. Research shows that being able to identify your partner’s positive traits is linked to better relationship satisfaction. And when you can notice relationship green flags, it may be easier to find a partner who can meet your needs.
Explore these green flags in a relationship.
Trust
Trust is an essential part of any healthy relationship — romantic or not. It’s not just about trusting each other to remain faithful and avoid infidelity. It’s also about trusting that the other person will have your back when challenges arise.
Trust means you feel secure enough to be vulnerable. You share your fears, dreams, and mistakes without worrying that they’ll be used against you later. It’s a foundational aspect of emotional safety.
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Mutual respect
Respect is a nonnegotiable green flag in relationships. When you respect someone, you value their needs, feelings, and opinions. It doesn’t matter if you don’t always agree with them — you see them as a worthy human being separate from yourself.
Respect can be shown through everyday behavior, like listening when your partner speaks, apologizing when you’re wrong, or giving them space when they need it. When respect is mutual, both people can be their full selves without fear of being dismissed or belittled.
Fighting “fairly”
Most couples argue from time to time. But it’s important to “fight fairly” when you do. For example, instead of attacking the other’s character or personality, do you keep the argument focused on the problem at hand? Do you talk through conflict rather than avoiding it or bottling it up until it explodes?
Fighting fairly is a sign of healthy communication skills, which is often seen as an essential trait of a healthy relationship.
Kindness and caring
If both partners can show genuine kindness toward each other, that’s a green flag. It’s not about grand gestures of romance. Rather, it’s about whether you both show one another how much you care. Are you and your partner as kind to one another as you are to friends or other important people in your lives?
For example, kindness can be shown through small but meaningful actions, like checking in during a hard day, offering to take on a task when your partner feels overwhelmed, or using gentle language even when you’re frustrated.
Responsiveness
Being responsive to your partner means being sensitive to their feelings. You’re able to recognize when they need support, and provide that support in a way that feels right for them.
Responsiveness might look like noticing when your partner seems off and asking if they’re OK, or acknowledging their emotions instead of minimizing them. One study found that roommates who were more responsive to one another reported higher relationship quality. This is an important relationship green flag that’s often overlooked.
Similar values
It’s OK for partners to have differences within relationships. You don’t have to want all the same things, pursue the same dreams, or share the same interests. It can be healthy to have independent goals — they can even strengthen the relationship. What matters is having similar values. When core priorities align, it can offer stability for the relationship.
For example, if one of you values family, but the other values independence, that might result in conflict when it comes time to care for aging family members. If one of you wants to have children and the other doesn’t, it can create strain. It’s important for the other to be on the same page where it matters most.
Genuine affection
It sounds simple, but it’s important to have genuine feelings of affection toward your partner. Some couples experience disdain for one another, which is when you treat your partner with contempt — eye-rolling, sarcasm, or dismissive comments. Contempt is considered by the Gottman Method (an evidence-based couples therapy method) to be one of the top predictors of divorce.
So it’s a green flag when you genuinely like each other. You enjoy spending time together, even if you enjoy time alone as well. You laugh together, express physical affection, and feel safe sharing your softer emotions without fear of judgment.
Having other important relationships
It can often be a good sign when both partners have other relationships that they value. Other strong relationships can often mean that you’ve learned how to communicate and resolve conflict. You’ve had additional opportunities to build closeness with people, and you can apply those skills to your romantic relationship as well.
Having a strong network outside your romantic partnership also helps maintain balance. You’re less likely to depend on your partner for every emotional need. This can create more room for mutual respect and independence within the relationship.
Learning to slow down and notice how safety and respect feel in the body can help you recognize a green flag. Over time, this helps you build awareness of what genuine emotional security looks like, not just what to avoid.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
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Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance. They’re built on trust, respect, kindness, and shared values. Learning to recognize these green flags can help you choose partners who bring out the best in you and deepen the relationships you already have.
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Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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