Self-soothing can help people with autism manage stress, strong emotions, and sensory overload.
Healthy self-soothing techniques include stimming, sensory tools, gentle movement, and familiar routines.
If self-soothing behaviors cause harm or stress becomes hard to manage, professional support can help.
Self-soothing means finding ways to calm yourself down when you’re feeling agitated or distressed. For people with autism spectrum disorder (autism), self-soothing can help with strong emotions, loud noises, or changes in daily routines.
Self-soothing is a healthy way to handle stress [1], as long as it doesn't cause harm. Things like rocking, using a fidget toy, or sitting in a quiet room can help you feel more at ease.
Everyone has different needs, so what works for one person may not work for another. Learning what helps you feel calm can make stressful moments easier to manage.
Self-soothing techniques for autism
When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, having a few ways to calm yourself can make a difference. For autistic people, self-soothing often involves meeting sensory needs, finding comfort in familiar activities, or taking a break from stressful situations.
Here are some self-soothing techniques you can try.
Stimming
Stimming means using repeated movements, sounds, or actions to help manage emotions or sensory input. It’s common among autistic people [2] and can be a healthy way to self-soothe.
You might try rocking, tapping your fingers, humming, or using a fidget toy. Pay attention to which actions help you feel calmer. There’s usually no need to stop stimming unless it’s causing harm to yourself or others.
Creating a calming space
Bright lights, loud noises, and busy places can feel overwhelming for anyone. They can be particularly distressing for someone with autism. Having a quiet space [3] to relax can help you feel more comfortable.
Try dimming the lights, adding soft blankets, or wearing noise-canceling headphones. Use this space when you notice signs of sensory overload or need a break.
Using sensory tools
Sensory [4] tools can help you feel calmer by giving your body the type of input it needs. Some people enjoy gentle pressure, while others prefer soft textures or movement.
Try squeezing a stress ball, holding a soft blanket, or using a weighted lap pad. Pay attention to how each tool makes you feel. If something causes discomfort, try another option.
Practicing gentle movement
Movement can help [5] release tension and make stressful moments easier to manage. You don’t need to do a full workout to feel the benefits.
Try walking, stretching, swinging, or moving to your favorite music. Choose activities that feel good to your body, and take breaks when needed.
Follow a familiar routine
Routines can provide comfort and make your day feel more predictable. This may be especially helpful when you’re dealing with changes or stress.
Create a simple calming routine, like changing into comfortable clothes, having a favorite snack, or reading before bed. Following familiar steps may help you feel more settled.
Spending time with a special interest
Special interests [6] can bring joy, comfort, and a sense of calm. Spending time on something you love may help you relax after a stressful day.
Try reading about a favorite topic, playing a game, collecting items, or enjoying a hobby. Make time for these activities when you need a break or want to recharge.
Grounding exercises
Grounding exercises can help you focus on the present when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
Try taking slow, comfortable breaths or naming a few things you can see, hear, or touch. You can also hold a familiar object and focus on how it feels. If a grounding exercise makes you uncomfortable, it’s OK to stop and try something else.
Not every technique will work for everyone. Pay attention to what helps you feel safer, calmer, or more comfortable. Remember that you can use different strategies for different situations.
When self-soothing signals a deeper challenge
Self-soothing is usually healthy for autistic people. Stimming is one way to self-soothe. It includes repeated actions like rocking, humming, or hand flapping that can help manage stress and emotions.
However, some signs may mean you need more support:
Getting hurt: Behaviors like headbanging, biting, or scratching that cause injury*
Feeling stressed often: Needing to self-soothe more than usual because you feel upset or overwhelmed
Struggling with daily life: Finding it hard to do everyday tasks because of stress or certain behaviors
*A note on safety: The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline offers 24/7 confidential support through trained crisis counselors. If you or someone you care about is experiencing emotional distress, self-harm, or a suicidal crisis, please call or text 988. For life-threatening emergencies or immediate assistance, call 911.
When to seek professional support
Self-soothing can help you manage stress, but you don’t have to figure everything out on your own. If you’re often overwhelmed, your usual coping tools aren’t helping, or you’re turning to behaviors that cause harm, it may be time to seek support.
A mental health professional who understands autism can help you:
Find what works for you. Explore calming tools that fit your needs and comfort level.
Spot triggers early on. Learn what causes stress or sensory overload so you can plan ahead.
Build coping skills that help in the moment. Practice safe ways to handle strong emotions and stressful moments.
Get more support. Find ways to ask for help or make changes at home, school, or work.
Working with a professional can help you feel more confident in managing stress. The goal isn’t to stop healthy self-soothing behaviors. It’s to find ways to feel safe, supported, and more at ease.
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I wish more people understood that hiding natural self-soothing behaviors can take a real emotional toll. When someone feels pressured to suppress behaviors that help them feel calm or regulated, it can increase stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. I encourage people to focus less on how these behaviors look to others and more on how they help the person feel.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Self-soothing looks different for everyone, and there’s no single right way to find calm. With practice and support, you can discover what works best for your needs and feel more at ease during stressful moments.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
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References
- Repeated movements and behaviour (stimming) https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/about-autism/repeated-movements-and-behaviour-stimming
- ‘People should be allowed to do what they like’: Autistic adults’ views and experiences of stimming https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6728747/
- The use of multisensory environments in children and adults with autism spectrum disorder: A systematic review https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12255839/
- “It feels like holding back something you need to say”: Autistic and Non-Autistic Adults accounts of sensory experiences and stimming https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946721001392
- Physical Activity for Anxiety for Autistic People: A Systematic Review https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12296984/
- Special interests and subjective wellbeing in autistic adults https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29427546/
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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