Neuroqueer, or queer neurodivergent, describes the intersection of neurodivergent and queer identities.
Neuroqueering is the act of breaking free from societal expectations and learning how to be your authentic self.
If you’re looking for guidance, consider meeting with a therapist who specializes in neurodivergence and LGBTQ+ issues.
Whether it’s your ethnicity, sexual orientation, or the way you process the world around you, we’re all unique, and that’s something to celebrate. One example is neuroqueer [1] — a term that describes people who are neurodivergent and part of the LGBTQ+ community.
If you’re neurodivergent and questioning your gender identity or sexual orientation, you might have some questions about how these parts of yourself fit together. Being queer or neurodivergent isn’t something that needs to be “fixed.” But if you’d like support exploring your identity or navigating stress related to these experiences, you may benefit from working with a therapist who understands your perspective.
What it means to be neuroqueer
The term neuroqueer was first coined in 2008 and began to gain traction a few years later. Since then, it’s been used as a verb, adjective, and identity label to convey what it means to live at the intersection between neurodivergence and queerness [2].
Neurodivergent
Neurodivergence is a term that describes people whose brains work a little differently than the majority of the population. Some examples of neurodivergent conditions include:
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
Dysgraphia
Dyscalculia
Dyslexia
Tourette syndrome
Queer
Queer is a word that describes people whose sexual orientation or gender identity [3] falls outside of heterosexual or cisgender identities. Examples of queer identities include gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning.
As a verb, neuroqueering is the act of challenging societal expectations of “normal.” It’s a chance to express your neurodivergence in a way that also represents your queer identity. This might include:
Creating art that embodies the neuroqueer perspective
Dressing in ways that reflect your identity rather than following traditional gender expectations
Being open about your boundaries and needs with other people
Why neurodivergent people are more likely to be queer
Research shows a strong connection between neurodivergence and identifying as queer. For example, autistic people are more likely to be asexual or an “other” sexual orientation [4] than people without autism.
When it comes to gender identity, people who identify as transgender or gender-diverse are more likely to be on the autism spectrum [5] compared to cisgender people. The same goes for conditions like ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and learning disorders.
Neurodivergent people are more likely to be queer for several possible reasons. Compared with neurotypical people, they may not feel the same need to adhere to societal pressures. They tend to value authenticity over fitting in or making others feel comfortable. Neurodivergence is also associated with traits like logic and curiosity, which may help some people reflect on who they are and what they like.
How queer neurodivergence can impact mental health
Identifying as neuroqueer can present some unique challenges, starting with minority stress [6]. The minority stress theory states that people in marginalized groups are more likely to experience unique stressors and disparities that impact their well-being. According to research on LGBTQ+ youth, this stress can contribute to poor mental health and increase the risk of suicide [7].*
Common challenges that often affect both queer [8] and neurodivergent communities include:
Social stigma: Most queer adults have experienced some type of unfair treatment during their daily lives [9]. This might include being excluded, treated differently, harassed, or made to feel unsafe. Neurodivergent people, including those with autism or ADHD, can also experience stigma and discrimination. For someone who is neuroqueer, stigma related to multiple parts of their identity may contribute to stress, shame, or feeling pressure to hide who they are.
Lack of resources and support: Research has found that many neurodivergent employees don’t feel adequately supported by their companies [10], which can lead to fatigue, pressure, and loneliness. Being queer can also cause discomfort at work, as well as issues accessing food, shelter, and other basic needs.
Shortage of affirming care: It can feel easier said than done to find a provider who understands the intersectionality of being queer and neurodivergent. This may make it harder to find care that helps you feel understood and comfortable discussing all parts of your identity.
*A note on safety: Members of the LGBTQ+ community are at an increased risk of suicidality. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, don’t hesitate to ask for help. You can contact the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 from any phone. The counselors there will provide confidential support and resources to help keep you safe. You can also contact The Trevor Project 24/7 for LGBTQ-affirming crisis and peer support.
Living authentically as neuroqueer
Neuroqueering is all about being true to who you are and how you interact with the world. It involves confronting traditional norms and embracing your authentic self. Here are a few tips to live more authentically as neuroqueer.
Practice self-acceptance. Learning to accept yourself is an important step in finding inner peace and happiness. This means embracing your thoughts, behaviors, and preferences without trying to change or mask them.
Make well-being a priority. Don’t discount the importance of making time for your mental and physical well-being. Regular self-care can increase happiness, reduce stress, and contribute to emotional resilience.
Find your community. Surround yourself with people who honor and respect you. Whether it’s an online neuroqueer community or a close group of friends, spend time with people who help you feel safe, valued, and supported.
Find an affirming therapist. LGBTQ+-friendly therapy honors each person's unique journey and experiences. That’s why it’s important to find someone who’s the right fit for you.
The care you need, when you need it
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One misunderstanding I often see is that being neuroqueer simply means being both queer and neurodivergent. For some people, neuroqueering is also about questioning expectations around how they’re supposed to think, communicate, behave, or express themselves. Realizing that there isn’t one ‘right’ way to be neurodivergent or queer can feel freeing.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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People who identify as neuroqueer are both neurodivergent and part of the LGBTQ+ community, and there’s a lot of overlap between the two experiences. Neuroqueering is a journey, so consider bringing your therapist along for the ride. They can help you develop new skills, increase self-awareness, and create a life that feels authentic to you.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
References
- NEUROQUEER: AN INTRODUCTION https://neuroqueer.com/neuroqueer-an-introduction/
- Neuroqueer frontiers: Neurodiversity, gender, and the (a)social self https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/soc4.13234
- What does queer mean? https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sexual-orientation/what-does-queer-mean
- The sexual health, orientation, and activity of autistic adolescents and adults https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/aur.2604
- Elevated rates of autism, other neurodevelopmental and psychiatric diagnoses, and autistic traits in transgender and gender-diverse individuals https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-020-17794-1#Sec7
- The Daily Heterosexist Experiences Questionnaire: Measuring Minority Stress Among Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Adults https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3777637/
- Affirming Care: Lessons from Minority Stress Model to Bolster Mental Health Outcomes for LGBTQ+ Youth in Primary Care https://digitalcommons.du.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1494&context=capstone_masters
- Neuroqueer identities and mental health https://mhanational.org/resources/neuroqueer-identities-and-mental-health/
- LGBTQ+ Health Policy https://www.kff.org/lgbtq/health-policy-101-lgbtq-health-policy/
- One in five neurodivergent employees have experienced harassment or discrimination at work because of their neurodivergence https://www.cipd.org/en/about/press-releases/one-in-five-neurodivergent-employees-experienced-harassment-or-discrimination-at-work/#:~:text=One%20in%20five%20neurodivergent%20employees%20surveyed%20%2820%25%29%20have%20experienced,corporate%20neuroinclusion%20training%20specialists%20Uptimize.
Alex Bachert
Alex Bachert is a freelance copywriter and mental health advocate. Since earning her masters degree in public health, she has focused her career on creating informative content that empowers people to prioritize their health and well-being. Alex has partnered with organizations like Ro, WellTheory, and Firsthand, and her work has been recognized by the Digital Health Association.
When she’s not writing about mental health, Alex is usually playing pickleball, meeting with her local board of health, or enjoying time with her three kids.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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