Starting college is a big, exciting change, but adjusting emotionally can take time — and that’s OK.
Homesickness and feeling out of place are normal, but ongoing isolation can make loneliness and stress harder to manage.
Asking for help early — whether from an academic adviser, a resident adviser (RA), or a therapist — can be an important part of setting yourself up for success.
Starting college comes with an obvious list of to-dos: getting to class on time, figuring out where everything is, meeting your roommate, and maybe joining a few student clubs.
But what people often don’t talk about is how strange it can feel to start over completely from scratch. If your first few weeks aren’t going quite the way you imagined, a few small shifts can help you feel more grounded, connected, and at home in this new chapter.
You might be thrilled to finally have independence while missing home at the same time. You might meet new people every day and still wonder where you actually fit in. Most students are figuring things out as they go, and if you don't feel completely settled right away, you’re not the only one.
What to expect during your first few weeks
College often looks effortless from the outside. Social feeds are filled with dorm photos, game days, and group dinners that can make it look like everyone else settled in overnight. You might feel pressure to find your core friend group right away, but it’s OK to take your time while you adjust to the many changes the first month of college can bring.
For example, you’ll need to:
Learn lots of new names, places, and expectations
Manage a schedule that no one is keeping track of for you
Adjust to classes that may move much faster than your high school coursework did
When everything feels new, focusing on small wins can help. Introducing yourself to someone in class, finding your way across campus without a map app, or establishing a basic weekly routine may not feel like a big deal, but these small steps can make an overwhelming transition feel more manageable.
Common first-year challenges
It may feel like you’re the only person on campus who’s having a hard time navigating your first semester, but chances are, you’re not. Even students who seem confident may be dealing with their own challenges behind the scenes. Getting used to college — academically, socially, and emotionally — can take time.
Some common challenges for first-year students include:
Homesickness: You might miss your family, old friends, favorite places, or familiar routines. Consider scheduling regular calls to home and personalizing your room with things that make it feel more comfortable and familiar.
Trouble building connections: It can be easy to worry that you’re falling behind socially when other students seem to have found their people already. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to find a best friend right away, focus on small, repeated interactions — studying with classmates, grabbing coffee with someone new, or attending a club that interests you.
Academic pressure: You may realize pretty quickly that no one is reminding you about deadlines or checking on your progress. If managing schoolwork on your own feels challenging, consider attending your professors’ office hours, connecting with an academic adviser, or body doubling with another student. Remember that asking for guidance is part of learning, not a sign of failure.
Isolation: When you feel overwhelmed, staying in your room, skipping class, or ignoring texts can sometimes feel easier than facing everything at once. But if withdrawing starts to become a pattern, consider reaching out to an RA, adviser, trusted friend, or mental health provider for support.
Real connection takes time
Most genuine college friendships aren’t created through one perfect late-night conversation. More often, they grow gradually through small, repeated interactions.
Try saying yes to an invitation even if you feel a little awkward, asking a classmate to grab food after a lecture, or spending more time with people who make you feel comfortable being yourself. Belonging often takes shape slowly through consistency, curiosity, and openness.
When to reach out for extra support
Feeling out of place sometimes can be a normal part of adjusting to college. But if isolation or avoiding social interaction starts to become your usual pattern, loneliness and self-doubt may become harder to manage on your own.
It may be helpful to reach out for additional support if you:
Feel overwhelmed most of the time
Have a hard time keeping up with basic daily responsibilities
Lose interest in hobbies or activities that you usually enjoy
Regularly avoid social opportunities and spend most of your free time alone in your room
Many colleges and universities offer mental health resources designed to help you navigate challenges like these. Consider reaching out to your school’s health or counseling center to learn what options are available to you.
You also don’t have to wait until things feel urgent to ask for help. Building a support system early — made up of friends, RAs, professors, family members, and mental health professionals — can give you people to turn to when tough weeks come along.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
If it seems like everyone else has found their place, focus less on finding your perfect friend group and more on creating small points of connection. Sit by the same people in class, eat in a shared space, or attend the same club each week. Familiarity can make it easier for relationships to grow.
Ivy Olcott
Clinical reviewer
Find care with Rula
You don’t have to have college — or yourself — completely figured out right away. Giving yourself time to adjust, taking small steps toward connection, and reaching out for support when you need it can help you feel more grounded and confident as you settle into this new chapter.
At Rula, we’re here to help you feel better. Rula makes it easy to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who takes your insurance. That way, you don’t have to choose between great care and a price you can afford.
Rula patients pay about $15 per session with insurance, and 93% say they feel better after getting care through Rula. We have 21,000+ providers, and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. We’re here to help you take the next step — wherever you are in your mental health journey.
Kelsey Chacon
Kelsey Chacon is a content manager at Rula, where she works to reduce stigma and drive conversations about the critical importance of access to mental healthcare. With a decade of experience in content marketing and writing, she believes thoughtful storytelling can help people feel seen, empowered, and more empathetic toward one another. Her personal connection to mental health has shaped her belief that mental health touches nearly all of us — and that greater understanding, open conversation, and early access to care can be life-changing.
When Kelsey is offline, you'll find her chasing her toddler around Barnes & Noble and finding any excuse to get an iced coffee.
Ivy Olcott
Ivy Olcott is a licensed mental health counselor in Massachusetts. She is a graduate of Earlham College and Lesley University, where she received her masters in professional counseling. She has previously worked in community mental health, college counseling, and private practice.
In her free time, Ivy can be found making miniature art, metalsmithing, and spending time with her family.
Rula’s editorial process
Rula’s editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
